Cultural Teachings from America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Korea

originally posted on 1/21/07

Well, I am happy to say that I'm doing a killer job in bringing grand American cultural institutions to the previously Barbary lives of my Korean hosts. And by American culture, I of course mean the highest form thereof, specifically that of the Louise's/Michigan Street variety. Early on, as noted here, I was able to bring pirate humor into the lives of Korean youth, as a lesson at my old school involved proper pronunciation of the "ar" sound, as in Mars or Favre, which of course I would only allow the students to say in the proper pirate manner.

Since I've come to the new school, things have gotten even better in the knowledge-spreading arena. Two weeks ago, I taught a unit on dinosaurs, which of course meant telling the dinosaur joke to every single class. This week, a textbook upped the ante with a unit on the farm, thus I was able to teach the kids how to properly moo. I even taught some of the smarter kids that they should roll down their windows and moo at the cows they see when their parents are driving in rural areas. I also inadvertently taught one class how to play the beerhunter, though with soda, when trying to explain the difference between "fun" and "funny." Admittedly, it's a bad example, as the beerhunter can be both.

While out at the bar, I was speaking to a Korean businessman. When I left, I gave him "the claw," which most readers of this should be aware of, but if you aren't, ask Daniel. "Is this an American custom?" he asked me. "Yes." I said. He seemed pleased to learn it.

Now, if only I could get the kids on board with Royals baseball and KU hoops, my work will be complete. Unfortunately, both prospects are doubtful unless said teams sign a Korean player.