Kongers 2 - Disneyland

originally posted on 1/7/07

Hong Kong Disneyland was small, fake, manufactured, a bit lonely, a long subway ride from central Hong Kong, and worst of all, it didn't have most of the good Disney rides like Splash Mountain or Haunted Mansion. So was it worth the $40 or so I spent getting in? Fuck yes.

Because of the small size, it means I did everything, and I mean everything, in a few hours, even the tea cups, which I used to skip on 5 day trips to Disney parks back when. Plus, I did everything decent twice, and Space Mountain 4 times, and I never waited in line for anything really, except for the one new ride.

More to the point, and this is a bit cheesy, but this was my first Christmas without family. My nuclear family is only 4 people, but we live in four different regions and at no point since May of 1999 have more than 2 of us lived in the same city. And really, there are only two different subjects in the vast array of potential agreeable points – sports, politics, entertainment, and what have you, that all 4 of us agree upon. Those subjects are a love of Chiefs football (though maybe not today) and a love of Disney parks.

Like I said, I know it's cheesy, and that theoretically the notion of Disney parks is the same as the notion of Bud Lite and NASCAR and Wal Mart and should stand foursquare as part of everything that I am against. But you know what? I don't care. Many of you don't know this, but I spent some 18 days in a Disney park on 6 different trips to California and Florida between 1988 and 1994 with the entire family, and an additional 7 days or so with part of the fam on 3 other trips between 1996 and 1999. So, for those of you that flunked first grade (or second, Dylan) that's 9 Disney trips and 25 Disney days between the ages of 10 and 21. So, I don't care about the plastic in this case, or the corporate monotony, or the fact that, much like a Big Mac that tastes the same in Kansas as it does in Chicago as it does in Baltimore as it does in Florida as it does in Paris as it does in Seoul (and believe me, I know), Space Mountain is the exact same ride in Hong Kong as it is in Anaheim. And you know what? They both kick ass.

So, in an all-too-topical sense, I give the Disney Parks a full, free, and absolute pardon for any high crimes and misdemeanors they may have committed in cookie-cutter America. Again, this was my first Christmas away from home, and since watching the Chiefs anywhere here is impossible, going to Disneyland makes sense as a way to "spend time with family for the holidays." I know I don't write much about family or childhood in this or any other space, but I felt this was a fitting story, especially since I've yet to get the fam anything for Christmas and I know they'll read this and I need the points.